How would a narcissistic coder code?
Ever pair programmed with a narc. What is the definition of a narcissist? Nowadays, the term narcissist is being thrown around a lot. “Everyone who doesn’t agree with me is a narcissist” is the current way of thinking or “every evil person on earth is a narcissist”. Hitler, Trump, Gates, Elon Musk are all being called narcissists. Are they really all narcs? Like all of them ? Do you ever stop to think that you need to at least correctly diagnose your villain?
No, a narcissist is not like an octopus
A narcissist is anything but an octopus. They cannot blend in. They stand out all the time and prefer to stand out. They are in love with their uniqueness. They would rather die than blend in. A narcissistic friend of mine faked a British accent even though she wasn’t British and has never even been to Britain. This made her feel better than others even though it was phony. Let me give you another example of a narcissist. This man I used to work with back in 2017, always pretended to know more than he actually did. So, when I told him Jeff Bezos just became the richest man on earth. He looked at a distant with frowned eyebrows pretending to be lost in some extreme calculations. He than gave me some fake reports on the stocks of Amazon and predicted that there is no way Bezos was that rich. I asked him why and told him that I was just reading the newspapers. This made him frown and he created a scene for no reason. Notice how he had an extreme need to outsmart others. While in the office, he was constantly snooping around to see what others were doing because he saw people as a competition. But instead of working hard towards his goals or actually doing a lot of reading in order to outsmart, he wanted to manipulate the way others viewed him.
Narcissists always want to feel like they are better than others. They will do whatever it takes to stand out in the crowd and feel superior. They are always pretentious and will do whatever it takes to manipulate people into having this phony idea about them.
How do you generally spot a narcissist
No, you don’t spot a narcissist when you see someone taking a selfie. This person in the picture could be the opposite of a narcissist. A narcissist is not driven by a healthy need to feel pretty and admired. A narcissist is driven by the idea of manipulating you into thinking they are pretty or smart or something else that they are not and bully you into admiring them. They may not actually put in the work or effort to get what they want but bully you into seeing them as the person that they want to be seen as.
So, a narcissistic woman can be average looking but will manipulate you into thinking they are the most beautiful woman on earth with a ton of makeup, tons of photos, fake admirers etc. She will present herself differently or photoshop her pictures. They are obsessed with a fake image and wants to be worshipped for the fake id they are presenting.
So how do you spot a narcissist? You can only identify a narcissist after you know them. I do not personally know Elon Musk or Gates or Trump. It is extremely unfair to identify them as a narcissist. Sure, I could point out some traits but it could all be publicity stunts and nothing else. Here is a secret, narcissists are actually huge losers. They are far from being Gates or Trumps. They are average people with very low IQ level and are usually in trouble. They are huge losers in everything they do in life. They feel less than others and are constantly trying to cover their shame of being inferior.
A narcissist feels less
They are lazier than others. Like I mentioned narcissists will never put in the work and effort. They are obsessed with their fake image and instead of working to improve their skills they just want to pretend and bully you into believing them.
A Narcissistic Coder
Let’s spot the elephant in the room. Yes, a narcissistic coder will be extremely average or be very bad at coding. But they would always pretend to know more. They may try to outsmart people in some other way. Phrases such as I am street smart but not book smart might be thrown very often. This is an extremely favorite quote of the narc. They would want others to do the work for them and would always try to be overfriendly. A narcissistic coder does not understand boundaries and may erase the codes of other coders. They do not understand personal boundaries too and would suddenly tell you their deepest secret in an effort to connect. They may try to bribe people to become an office favorite. They may offer to take everyone out for lunch or dinner and pay bills for everyone. All this will feel extremely weird. And finally, they will try to steal all the credits of others. They may write unnecessary comments or push GitHub repos excessively whatever makes it look like they are doing more work. They can take over the trello board and promise work that they cannot deliver. And since, they are bad at coding, it would slow down the team. A narcissistic coder may show superiority in some other way by hitting the gym during work hours and attaching the work out photos on slack. Once a narcissistic coder went as far as photoshopping himself with Bill Gates and attaching them on slack with the caption. Met this man today and it looked very obviously photoshopped. Since, they are masters at snooping around they will always keep track of what everyone else is up to. Narcissistic coders make incredible detectives and will constantly visit your LinkedIn, twitter, GitHub or portfolio to check on whatever it is that you are up to.
Are you a narcissistic coder?
If you are a narcissistic coder there is hope for you because like I pointed out you are pretending to be someone that you are not. You can overcome your feelings of inadequacy by working extremely hard. Once you put in the work and effort and actually become good at your work. You will notice a lot of your narcissistic traits disappearing. You will notice that you are no longer concerned with your image but by your level of actual contribution. Also, get help from a real therapist and try to resolve any issues or traumas that you had in life that led you into becoming a narcissist.
In my coding journey, I have always met a lot of narcissists but now I know how to spot one.
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